Met the wife at Babies R Us again today. This time, we were planning on buying all the things we needed to have in the house for when we got the little guy home from the hospital. Things like diapers, cleaning supplies, little baby clothes with big people prices and a car seat base for her car (already had one for mine).
I got there before she did and I asked one of the fine, young Babies R Us associates for a list of the things we absolutely must have upon our return from the hospital. She bounced over to a kiosk and pulled out a list and said, "This is everything," with sort of a strange smirk that I took to mean, "Good luck, idiot."
As I was looking it over, I realized that we had received a whole bunch of the "required" stuff (stuff you absolutely MUST have so that Babies R Us can make as much money as possible. I'm sure that plenty of new babies have managed to live without three different strollers and six different types of pacifiers.). But, what really chapped my hide was the list of items needed for "New Moms." The list included a scrapbook, photo album, camera, film, etc. Excuse me? Just for New Moms? What about the New Dads? Shouldn't that read, "New Parents?" I know that I'm not the one giving birth and I know all I did was provide 180 gut-wrenching seconds of pure animal energy, but come on! This whole experience IS going to affect me a bit too, I think.
When we discovered that we were pregnant, I went to the book store to get some books or magazines about becoming a new dad. My choices were limited to boring, textbook-like options, which detailed what I should expect each and every day, month and year, and to the requisite fatherhood book written by a comedian (seems that when you're a comedian/dad, it's a rule that you have to write a book about fatherhood. And, a not-very-funny book about fatherhood seems to be the kind you are required to write.) I guess the publishing world - and now even Babies R Us thinks that the dads don't really care. And, come to think of it there haven't ever been any men in Babies R Us when I've been there.
All of my friends have busted out with one story or another: You'll gain 10-15 pounds along with your wife (check). You'll wonder about where some of the moods are coming from (check). You'll learn all about "nesting" (check). And on and on (check and check). But where's the magazine that helps get the men through the transition to fatherhood - and, not with the psychobabble, let's all share our feelings, kind of drivel that's in the motherhood mags? Parents Magazine is NOT for dads. It's for moms.
Face it - once the sperm hits the egg. The future dad is invisible.
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