We’ve all said it at one time or another, “If I only knew then what I know now,”…and we finish the sentence with some kind of bold statement like, “I wouldn’t have turned down that opportunity with those triplets.”
There really is no turning back. We can only move forward with the knowledge that we’ve missed some opportunities or made some mistakes. Besides, although there is still MUCH to learn, pushing 40, I should be able to do fairly well knowing now what I know now.
But, the beauty of the kid is that I can hopefully impart some kind of wisdom on him. It occurred to me that he is a great way for me to make up for those lost opportunities and know then when I know now. (Though, not in that “I couldn’t make it as a pro athlete, so you’re going to be my ticket to the Big Leagues” kinda way.) I can only hope that he’ll actually listen to me. (As opposed to say the way I handled my mom telling me that I should take an art and music class in college. What? Who has time for THAT? Well, I wish I had.)
If I really did know then what I know now – what would I have done differently? What are those key “misses” that knowing what I know now would I have avoided missing? (That’s a bit of a tongue twister, huh?) What are those experiences that I had (or didn’t have) that will become the stuff of father-son talks? I know it’s a bit early, but…
Study Abroad. I should have done it in high school and I should have done it in college. I was always more concerned with what I might miss at home instead of what I might find by being abroad. Kolby doesn’t know this yet, but he’ll be abroad in both high school and college. (If he wants to.)
Study Hard. I did enough to get by in school. It was good enough to get me into a good college and get through that good college, but I cheated myself by not diving in and really taking advantage of the great learning opportunity. The work ethic will last you throughout your life.
Expand Your Horizons. Another school regret? Well, sorta. As an East Asian Studies major, I did kind of do this. I got out of the match, science, English rut and tried something different. So, take the music class. The art class. The drama class. Take a Japanese class or Biblical Hebrew class. Challenge yourself to try something new and expand your horizons.
Love Exercise. Yeah, I run and stay in reasonable shape (with a few dramatic and scary exceptions over the years), but I don’t love it. Learn to love it. Make health and fitness part of your everyday life – early. You don’t have to go pro or play sports if you don’t want to, but find some exercise you love.
Learn to Cook. It’s amazing how making a simple pasta dinner (or even better – breakfast the next morning) will impress your girlfriend. But, if you can really cook big, fabulous meals for family, friends and significant others (girlfriend or otherwise)…Well, you’ll see.
Learn Finance. Understanding money – how it works and how it can work for you is a huge advantage. I’ve always been footloose and fancy free with a buck. Just as I got REALLY fat a couple of times, I also plunged into credit card hell a couple of times. Learning finance will help you avoid those pits. That being said…Don’t become cheap – and always treat your friends to lunch, dinner, etc. I’ll never stop doing that.
Travel & Speak the Language. I’ve traveled a bit – some would even say a lot. But, it’s never enough. Go all over the country. Experience the world. And, while you’re traveling, before you travel – learn the language. There are few things as impressive as being able to speak multiple languages. And when you travel…never mind the tourists spots – go where the locals go.
Chase Your Passion. This is the biggee. It’s taken me almost 40 years to finally go after what I want. I’ve wanted to write for as long as I can remember, but I never went after it. Too afraid to fail? I dunno. Your passions may change and that’s okay. Every time they do, however, attack them with…well, passion. Don’t settle for reaching goals. Reach dreams.
Everything. Always. Do what you love. And do it all well. There’s no reason why you literally can’t have everything. Cook, study, play, travel and even pay your bills with 100% effort. Don’t cheat yourself. There are those times when I bailed out of tough situations just because they were tough situations. Don’t quit – fight for what you want. Always. Every time.
I know it’s not too late for me to learn a language or two, get my arms wrapped around financial crap or learn to cook (though I can cook a bit – I said a bit), but my focus these days is elsewhere.
So, K-Man, if you actually listen to me and take heed, you can be SO far ahead of the two-year old curve. Okay, maybe some of these gems won’t need to be put into use for a few years, but keep them in your back pocket – ready to be put into action on a moment’s notice.
I’ve written this before, but the one thing I will always remember my dad saying to me – and in a way – this long winded post is just about this: “You can’t hit it if you don’t swing.” While he was talking about taking the bat of my shoulder on the baseball field, it applies to life. Step up to the plate, K-Man. Take your cuts. And, if you do – you’ll never, ever think about missing an opportunity or worrying about “if you only knew then what you know now…”
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